Weekly Caregiver Information
Please note that there are separate videos for this week’s classroom lesson and small group sessions, since the two groups are learning different content. Please watch whichever video(s) are relevant to you and your child!
Classroom Lesson 9
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Welcome to video nine of the Coping Power Caregivers video series. At this point, your child has only four lessons left in their Coping Power program!
As a quick review, your child has been learning how to use their coping skills to bring down their emotion thermometer and effectively solve a problem. Now that they’ve mastered a variety of different coping strategies, they’re beginning to focus more on effective, healthy communication skills. Last week, students focused on active listening strategies. These strategies not only show that you are listening to the person speaking to you, but also how to reflect back what was said to further validate the speaker and their thoughts and feelings.
Your child is now learning how to effectively and appropriately express themselves by creating an effective I-Message. I-Messages communicate how you are feeling without potentially causing the listener to feel defensive and shut down. I-Messages allow your child to state how they felt when an upsetting event occurred. For example: “I felt upset and rejected when we were waiting for the bus and didn’t speak to one another.” A statement like this communicates the feelings your child experienced, instead of placing blame on their friend and potentially pushing them farther away or causing a fight. The goal is for your child to be effective in communicating their thoughts and feelings in a manner that does not cause harm to someone else. It is so important for your child to be able to communicate their thoughts and feelings, as well as listening to and respecting the thoughts and feelings of others.
Your child has been practicing turning unhelpful, blaming statements into I-messages that clearly communicate the speaker’s experience. The goal of these statements is to teach effective self-advocacy that can lead to meaningful problem solving. Effective communication will help your child PICC apart a challenging situation by understanding the problem from both their own perspective and the perspectives of others, which will help them to make informed choices.
I-messages are best utilized when both parties are low on the emotion thermometer, which means these statements are used when emotions have cooled down. When your child is high on the emotion thermometer, they’ve learned to practice stepping away and use their coping strategies before having a conversation with someone.
We encourage you to continue discussing assertive communication and I-Messages with your child at home. You might ask your child about how they can use I-Messages at home when they feel upset. How could they do this with you, so that they can express how they are feeling without seeming like they are arguing or talking back? To help your child determine the difference, practice turning blaming, YOU-Messages into I-Messages with your child. Ask them to consider what they notice that is different about the two variations of the same statement, and how a listener might react differently.
Small Group Session 9
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Welcome back to another Coping Power Caregiver video! This is week nine of the program. As a reminder, your child and their peers in the small group will be learning content that is slightly different from what they are learning in the classroom. With this in mind, we encourage you to watch both this video to learn about the small group session, and the additional video which focuses more on the classroom lesson.
In previous weeks, your child learned how to effectively communicate their feelings about a situation by using “I” messages. By sharing their feelings and perspective on a situation, your child is communicating their emotional experience rather than placing blame on someone else. This should help your child to meet their own needs, while also decreasing the conflicts they get into with their friends and classmates.
This week, your child is learning how to effectively manage interpersonal conflicts through assertive communication. Assertive communication is based on the concept that people should stand up for their rights and not tolerate the injustice of the world. Your child should feel comfortable expressing how they feel and what they need, and assertive communication helps them to accomplish this goal without intruding on the rights of others.
They’ll also learn when and how to use assertive communication. The four-step guide to assertive communication includes preparing for the interaction (which includes practicing using a clear voice and appropriate volume, and remaining calm, confident, and in control of their emotions), then stating the problem from their perspective, explaining the reason they see it that way and seeking outside help from an adult if they feel unsafe.
Your child is also learning the appropriate steps for apologizing. This skill is taught in the same lesson as assertive communication to allow for practice on both sides of a difficult interaction, where one person is using assertive communication, and the other is apologizing. It’s important to normalize that everyone makes mistakes, and that this is completely okay and human, we just need to provide sincere apologies to those around us in order to maintain trust and respect.
The four-step guide to apologizing includes: being prepared that the other person still may not forgive you, being specific about what you’re apologizing for, accepting full responsibility, and staying calm and in control of emotions.
Apologizing is a very difficult skill, and it’s important for your child to recognize this as well. It’s hard for people of all ages to admit when they’ve made a mistake, done something wrong, or hurt someone’s feelings. This is one reason why frequent practice is very important.
Speaking of practice, this week’s power practice provides more opportunities for you to learn with your child. You might share an example of how you use assertive communication before asking your child how they can respectfully assert themselves at home when they need to. How should they do this with you? To help your child think through appropriate communication strategies, ask your child about good assertive communication strategies that you or your child has noticed others using. What are others doing well that you and your child might try to copy?
In addition, you can continue to encourage them to practice their apologizing skills, and even model apologizing to them or others in your life when you make a mistake.
Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you next week!
Caregiver Feedback Form
We welcome your feedback as we continue to improve the Coping Power program for students and families. Let us know what you thought of this week’s lesson!